Dear Mukta Ajji,

Its very rare that one comes across people who continue to influence you even in their absence. Mukta Ajji is one such person. She was my neighbour, friend, confidante and also an excellent balm in my times of crisis. The first time i met her was when she was 94 years young. We hit it off really well. She asked me if we study poetry at school, and I said," Yes, we've just started with Lady Clare." The next instant she was reciting the whole poem, with the gusto of a teenager. She had an excellent memory, she could recite Milton and shakspeare verbatim. Her enthusiasm in literature was infectious, she got me hooked on to classics. When i came home from school i used to stop at her place, we'd read together and i'd tell her the latest from my class. We could talk for hours and it never really mattered that she was so old. At her age she used to walk without any aid, she wouldn't hunch, and she lived all alone. We decided that when it came to books i would lend her mine and that she would lend me hers. So i introduced her to Nancy Drew, Three Investigators and Hardy Boys. Ofcourse her commments after reading each book was the same-"How juvennile!".
During summer holidays I spent most of my time in her house.We spent the day just talking. We'd talk a LOT. She'd tell me her experiences as a child, she was 10 years old when the Titanic sank, she was married when she completed metric and had to move to Mysore. As a new bride she had to help around the house, which left her litle time to indulge in her hobbies which were reading and painting. So she used to stay up late at night to paint. Her paintings were like photographs, she would capture all the intricate details of a scene or still life. One of my favourite paintings was the one she drew of the Temple tree. I particularly like it because it had a story behind it.Which goes like this --> The street on which we live, was the same on which R.K.Narayan used to stay. Outside his house grew a Temple tree and ajji sat right across his compound to paint it. R.K.Narayan came out and asked ajji what she was doing and she showed him. He was impressed with her painting, and told her he'd give her a copy of his latest book if she'd give him her painting. They agreed. Personally i don't think Mukta Ajji ever wanted to part with her painting so the exchange never happened.
She used to tell me about the time she spent in the Mysore Palace in attendance with the queen for tea and all the pretentious talk they had to exchange thanks to Ajji's husband's position. She enjoyed playing chess and was also a trained dancer and also played the veena. According to her, these were pre requisites for every girl back then. She couldn't rebel against it so she embraced it and enjoyed every bit of learning the arts. One evening after our daily session i went home and after a while there was this strange smell in my room and i kept complaining to my parents about it and they dismissed me. After an hour the whole house had the strange smell it was a really faint smell of chlorine but enough to make me want to step out. On stepping out of the house it was evident that every house on our street was aware of the chlorine leak which was traced to the water works behind our street. I decided to go check on ajji and as was expected she was up and out wanting to know what was happening. I told her and a couple of other kids also joined us. So while other people were out enjoying all commotion ajji wanted to step inside and start a game with us kids. She asked each of us to do something, i volunteered to deliver a speech I'd learnt, another kid sang and when all of us were done we looked at Ajji and being the sport that she always was she did a few Bharatnatyam steps( she could still do so in the aramandi position).
A few days after that i came home and i knew that something was wrong. I'd visited ajji in the evening but the uneasy feeling still persisted. My mom came and told me that ajji had a heart attack and that she was hospitalised. The next day on my way back home I decided to drop in at the hospital. She was in the ICU. I'd never realised how frail she actually was, I did that day and I couldn't bring myself to face the fact that she might not return home. I didn't feel like visiting her again. I hate hospitals and the whole atmosphere makes me uneasy so I stalled my visit. A fortnight later when i visited her she was all cheery and chirpy as a bird. She related her experience and was ready to get out of the hospital. She stayed there for over 2 months. By which time she had the nurses and doctors singing to her tune. She called her self a ball that would bounce back no matter what. After this instance i ensured that i don't miss even a single evening in her company. So come rain come shine i was there.
In June 2003 she had a fall which resulted in a broken femur. After that she was bed ridden for a while and had been asked to use the walker. Fenny and I used to visit her. Fenny served as a distraction from what was bothering ajji. Ajji hated it that she couldn't sit up to paint, or read for long or even walk on her own. But what She hated most was depending on someone to do what she'd been doing for the past hundred years. The fact that she had to, brought a change in her attitude. For the first time she told me that, she had no friends her own age. I reminded her that she'd bounce back, come what may. She had too. After all she'd survived a heart attack at 98.
19.10.2003 around 6:15 my woke me up to tell em that Ajji was no more. It took more than an hour and a half for the words to sink in. When it finally did I ran to her house to find her lying still. She looked so calm and peaceful, she had a slight smile on her face. To me she looked like she was sleeping, I was waiting for her to open her eyes and say." Hey! can't i still play a good prank?" So I waited and when that didn't happen I knelt down and kissed her cheek. I stood back and this time when i looked i knew she wouldn't be waking up and the dam burst. I cried, I don't know for how long. I remember that day like it is today. i believed she'd out live me! Silly of me, I know. I guess it was selfish of me to want her live on. But she does live on. She's a part of some of my best memories. That is something no one can take away. Today is her birthday. She'd have been 106 today. (Happy Birthday)

My Special Best Friends...

I love animals and dogs rank first in my list of favourite animals. They have an affinity towards me which is reciprocated. I don't remember any time in my childhood that has gone by without me having made a canine friend. First there was Mary a stray who became our guard dog. All we did was feed her and pet her, she in turn guarded the house and accompanied my brother and me when ever we were out playing. She always used to lookout for us. She looked like a white lab crossed with a stray. An extremely well mannered dog. When she had her first litter, we were the only kids privileged to play with them when they were merely days old. Her pups bonded with us in no time. But since she was a stray we didn't have any say over her pups. People came and took the male pups. The remaining pups... well they met with tragic ends. I don't really want to get into details about that. But there were two puppies named Kappi ( because she looked and behaved like a monkey) and Thufan( because she used to come running full speed when she saw either my brother or me). It was such a fun time with them, we used to do all sorts of crazy things, run aimlessly with the pups following us, picking them up and cradling them like babies, talking to them in their language.[:)] It's a wonder that they tolerated us. Then came Peetu, he was really old when I first met him, but we struck a fast friendship. We had a happy howling time. He was a Casanova and yet such a sweet heart, he never used to dive in and grab food from other dogs. He was a like a perfect gentleman, I've never once seen him growl or chase kids. He knew the whole street was his territory and the other dogs respected that. He always had his harem following him when he knew it was dinner time. Food was something that he always shared. He also was a great dad, he protected his little ones from other dogs. He was like this family man, who not only protected his clan but also the people he liked. When I used to make trips to the library, he'd faithfully wait for me till I finished selecting my book, then we'd walk home. He'd wait till I was inside and then part. He knew his job well, he loved what he did and everybody just loved him. Then came Aishwarya, oh this dog was sho pretty! I mean she did the most adorable things. She used to observe my behaviour with Fenny and she used to imitate Fenny. Fenny loves a good tummy rub, so in a happy mood she's sure to expect a tummy rub from me followed by a conversation in a language which is meant only for her and me. When Aishwarya used to see me she'd just roll over and her tail would go in a frenzy. There were a string of little puppy friends too. I came across this new litter of pups, the mother looked really sad. So I started feeding her and the pups. The pups used to eagerly wait for me, there were 5 in all, I had named them puppydum, pappadam, poppadum, parappadum and padappadum. They used to yelp and wag their tiny tails and they looked so adorable. Its really sad that people don't adopt dogs from the street or at least feed them properly or just be kind to them. Its not like one has to go out of the way to do things. Little things like giving them leftovers or bones to chew isn't asking much.
There was this one time I saw a tiny pup crying in the middle of the road and no amount of petting would stop it. I picked it and put in my cycle basket. I had a ladybird cycle and the basket served its purpose well. I took it home and announced that I'd got home a pet and that we all just have to accept it and be nice to the poor thing. I went on advocating as to why we have to keep the pup.I Described to my mom the circumstances under which I'd found it and how I just couldn't leave it there and pretend that the puppy was no concern of mine. You'd think mothers would buy this and say, "Yes, bring the puppy in, I'm glad you did what you did." But ooooooooh noooooooo, my mom placed an ultimatum, she said," get in without the mutt or get out with the mutt." No amount of puppy sad faces, pouting or telling that "god is watching YOU" would make my mom change her stand. I took the puppy to Peetu and the kind hearted guy that he was, happily took the mutt into his circle.
I also remember having this cranky neighbour who despised children. My friends and I used to play this crazy game and sometimes the ball would land in cranky aunty's precious garden. There were these two ferocious dogs that they had. No one dared to go retrieve the ball. The next day we'd find the ball cut into half stuffed with kitchen waste. ( The lady was a sadist!) It was about time we devised our revenge. I took the initiative of "trying" to befriend the dogs. I started by giving them tit bits and letting them know I was no threat to them or their house. But they were smart, they didn't let me step into the compound without making a loud announcement of my attempts to trespass. Then came the day, my mom had to visit the lady's house and I offered to accompany her. When we entered the dogs began with their barking. My mom went in and I decided to hang around outside still trying to attempt a friendship. Then uncle came out and introduced me as a friend to the dogs. They then let me pet them and he allowed me to play with them.(He he he) The opportunity to test our friendship came really soon, the ball landed in cranky aunty's garden amidst her precious begonias. I whistled to the dogs and they came running, I said one magic word, "fetch" and voila! I Had the ball back. The dogs started enjoying this game session with us kids and since then cranky aunty never cut or rather never had an opportunity to stuff our compound with her kitchen waste. Oh if she ever discovers...

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XI and XII standard are probably the most defining years of ones life. You start taking responsibility for yourself. You take the reins in your hand and start planning your future. In my case, I was not sure about what I wanted. When people asked me what I wanted to do, I'd say law, journalism or veterinary sciences. But when my classmates were asked the same each one had one option. There were a few who even knew which college they wanted. There was this one guy who'd charted out his future, he knew what he wanted to study, he knew when he'd marry and when he'd have children, he had his whole life planned and ready for execution. So out of the 35 students in my class, I was living on the ideology of "life is a box of chocolates you never know which one you are going to get". Planning wasn't an option for me, I just decided that time will decide the road I'd take. When my friends were busy gearing up for IIT/JEE I was learning new expletives, living in the fantasy world of Harry Potter and yes, doing my bit of social service to the animal kingdom. Each one was busy with their own thing, each doing whatever it took to meet their goals. Even before the boards I had a very laid back attitude and it showed! I was the black sheep of my class. I'm not really proud of the way I handled things. I showed lack of maturity. I mean it was my future at hand and I hadn't given it any thought. So what was my reaction when I realised that my future was a blur and even I couldn't tell what my next move was to be? In short, I became the most insecure person on the planet, felt super insignificant, and every person who had a plan seemed to tower right over me. Everything around me became an intimidating factor. For someone who made the first move to talk to strangers, I became bumbling blunder when talking to my own friends. I really did not want to talk to anyone. I did not want to see, know or have anything to do with my friends.

In all this mess, while I was trying to make sense of my life my parents did what I never thought they'd do in a million years. We got home a little wonder that my family calls Fenny. She is a family dog alright, but she's mine. I really needed a change, and needed a diversion from all this mess. Fenny was the ONLY answer to all that happened later. I really, really, really don't know what I'd have done, had she not been a part of my life. She became my first responsibility. I had a little pup to take care of. It's not an easy task, but it was one I did not mind doing. I don't know what it is about animals but they sure are therapeutic and they are there for you the way nobody else could ever be. I am not really comfortable talking about my fears, but it was easy to tell it all out to Fenny. I used to clown around, crack jokes about my own mess to make my friends feel that nothing had affected me and that I am still the same old carefree person they all knew. I still do that at times. I guess there are somethings one never forgets. Now every time I start something new, or I have to take an important decision about something, I ALWAYS remind myself that I don't want to walk down the messy road again.
What I did gain out of all that happened, was:

a) a perfect pet, Fenny
b) a family that I knew I could depend on anytime(they were always there)
c) friends who I know will last a life time :)